The Nervous System, Hormones, and the Herb That Helped Me Cope: A Deep Dive Into Lemon Balm & Mental Health Repair

By Hilary Metcalfe

I spent years trying to fix what I thought was a mental health problem.

I tried therapy. I tried magnesium. I tried willpower.

But no matter how many tools I stacked into my routine, something kept pulling me back under: the brain fog, the irritability, the unpredictable mood swings, the mornings I woke up wired and already anxious. I wasn’t just stressed. I was chemically hijacked, by a body in hormonal crisis.

What I didn’t know then, but understand now, is this:

Many so-called “mental health” symptoms in women are actually hormonal.
And most of us are never told that.

My own story begins with endometriosis, a condition that’s not just painful, but deeply disruptive to the endocrine system. Endo alters estrogen metabolism, inflames the gut-brain axis, dysregulates cortisol, and triggers a cascade of nervous system overactivation.

And the emotional cost? It’s not just PMS.
It’s chronic insomnia. Overwhelm. Feeling like you’re constantly on edge.
It’s rage that scares you, and shame for feeling it.

We treat these experiences like personality flaws or psychiatric disorders. But they’re often the downstream effects of hormonal imbalance, especially in conditions like endo, PCOS, postpartum depletion, or perimenopause.

In fact, research now shows:

• Women with estrogen-dominant conditions are 2–4x more likely to experience anxiety and depression (Front Neuroendocrinol, 2022)
  
  

• Up to 80% of women with endometriosis report moderate to severe anxiety symptoms
  
  

• Dysregulated progesterone and cortisol levels interfere with GABA, the brain’s key calming neurotransmitter, making true “relaxation” neurologically harder
  
  

And yet… we’re rarely offered solutions that treat the root cause.

That’s what led me, slowly and stubbornly, into the world of plant-based neuroendocrine support, and to the formulation of The Calming Herbata.

This is the herb that changed everything.

But first, let’s understand why we need it in the first place.

The missing link: Hormones, neurotransmitters & mental health

The human body doesn’t compartmentalise.
Your brain, your ovaries, your gut, they’re constantly talking.
But modern medicine often forgets that.

Mental health is almost always viewed through a neurochemical lens, a serotonin problem, a dopamine imbalance, a need for cognitive behavioural strategies.

But for women, mental health is also a hormonal conversation.

• Oestrogen regulates serotonin and dopamine levels. When it dips (like premenstrually or in perimenopause), mood often crashes.
  
  

• Progesterone increases GABA, the neurotransmitter responsible for calm, sleep, and emotional stability. Low progesterone = high anxiety.
  
  

• Cortisol, our stress hormone, becomes dysregulated in chronic hormonal imbalance, keeping us in a constant state of low-grade “fight or flight.”
  
  

These systems are not separate. They are stacked.

Which means that if we want better mental health, we can’t ignore the hormonal undercurrents shaping the way we feel, think, and respond.

A nervous system herb with hormonal intelligence

When I first discovered lemon balm (Melissa officinalis), I wasn’t looking for a miracle.

I was looking for something that could soothe my nervous system without sedating me. Something that respected the complexity of hormonal mental health, and worked with the body’s rhythms rather than against them.

Lemon balm didn’t knock me out. It didn’t numb me.

It brought me back.

A Herb with 1,000 Years of Practice

Used by medieval monks, ancient Persian physicians, and traditional European herbalists, lemon balm has long been known as an "herb of spiritual peace." But it’s only recently that science has begun to map how it actually works.

What the science says

A 2021 meta-analysis of 18 randomized controlled trials published in Phytotherapy Research found that lemon balm:

• Reduced anxiety: SMD –0.98 (p = 0.003)
  
  

• Improved depressive symptoms: SMD –0.47 (p = 0.0005)
  
  

• Enhanced sleep without sedation or dependency
  
  

• Had no major side effects even at therapeutic doses
  
  

These aren’t marginal results. They rival pharmaceutical benchmarks for mild-to-moderate anxiety, without the hormonal side effects.

Lemon balm’s power lies in its multi-pathway activity:

A 2023 study in Frontiers in Pharmacology also found that lemon balm extract reduced cortisol levels after just two weeks of daily use.

This makes it uniquely effective for people navigating hormonal stress, mood instability, or recovery from burnout, because it treats the terrain, not just the symptoms.

Why we built The Calming Herbata around it

When I began formulating The Calming Herbata, I didn’t want a sleepy tea. I wanted a hormone-literate nervous system ally.

So I paired lemon balm with three other herbs that support neuroendocrine resilience:Together, they promote:

• Parasympathetic dominance (rest-and-digest mode)
  
  

• Emotional recalibration after overwhelm or hormonal crashes
  
  

• Support during PMS, perimenopause, postpartum, and burnout
  
  

• Sleep readiness, without cognitive dulling
  
  

Turning it into a ritual

This isn’t a product. It’s a pattern interrupt. A chance to retrain your body in the felt sense of calm.

Basic steep

• 1 teabag per cup
  
  

• Steep for 8–10 min, covered
  
  

• Use post-meeting, post-parenting, pre-bed, or whenever you feel on edge
  
  

Citrus-Clove PMS Support

• Add lemon peel + clove
  
  

• Warming and grounding, perfect during estrogen dips or PMS rage
  
  

Cold Brew for Summer or Hot Flashes

• one teabag in cold water
  
  

• Steep overnight in fridge
  
  

• Cooling, calming, and non-sedative
  
  

Steam Inhale

• Place herbs in bowl of steaming water
  
  

• Inhale deeply for 3 minutes before sipping
  
  

• Opens breath and quiets overactive stress responses
  
  

Stacking with nervous system tools

4-7-8 Breath + Sip

• Inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8 while sipping
  
  

• Activates vagal tone and parasympathetic rest
  
  

Rage Journaling + Tea Re-read

• Write for 10 minutes without filter
  
  

• Sip slowly while re-reading 1 line aloud
  
  

• Rewires emotional intensity into compassion
  
  

Stillness Stack

• Tea + sunlight + lavender oil on pulse points
  
  

• Ask yourself: “What would feeling safe feel like today?”
  
  

Who should avoid or adjust?

Lemon balm is generally very well tolerated, but use caution if:

• You’re on thyroid meds (high doses may reduce TSH)
  
  

• You’re taking benzodiazepines or sedatives (may amplify effects)
  
  

• You have allergies to mint-family plants (basil, rosemary, etc.)
  
  

As always, speak to your practitioner if you’re managing a complex hormonal or medication-based protocol.

In Closing: Mental health needs to come with a hormone disclaimer

We can’t keep telling women they’re “just anxious” without checking their oestrogen, progesterone, cortisol, insulin, and sleep cycles.

We can’t keep offering coping strategies when their neuroendocrine scaffolding is crumbling.

What we need is re-regulation.
And what we deserve is real calm, the kind that comes from root-cause repair.

Lemon balm won’t fix your life.
But it might help restore the ground beneath it.

Sip by sip.
System by system.
Nervous system first. Hormones second. Mood follows.

Because for women like me, navigating invisible overwhelm, calm isn’t just self-care.

ABOUT HILARY

Hilary is the Co-Founder of the SABI, a Holistic Nutritionist, natural, whole foods Chef, product developer and advocate for women getting to know their bodies, cycles and selves better. Born in Los Angeles, California and raised in Baja California, Mexico, she now lives in Los Cabos with her partner Kees, a curly-tailed rescue dog from Curacao, Flint and her rainbow babies Paloma and Bea.  

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HORMONAL & PROUD

Created as a brand to help women navigate the toughest moments in pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum — and practically every stage of life, the SABI aims to change the narrative around our hormones from one of taboo, embarrassment and loneliness, to awareness and even pride. Much more than a wellness brand, SABI offers a carefully crafted line of products to carry you through your hormonal journey; a set of rituals, supportive tools, and ancient herbal remedies that have been tested time and again by women and now, backed by medicine. SABI is a blend of science and nature conceived by women who have experienced the joys and deep implications of bringing a child into the world, the pains of a heavy and difficult period, miscarriage and difficulty conceiving

Here is an invitation to get to know your body and its cycles better and to really understand what is going on inside. Learn to use your hormonal cycle to your advantage no matter your stage of life, and know that you can always support and balance your hormone levels. Look for the right sources of information, know that there is help, and know that you’re supported.

DISCLAIMER

The SABI blog and articles are not meant to instruct or advise on medical or health conditions, but to inform. The information and opinions presented here do not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals for your unique situation.

REFERENCES

• https://www.meresearch.org.uk/impact-of-endometriosis/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22669834546&gbraid=0AAAAADsW2qmfZeYl3dms9kpp0eCfO1rub&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8eTFBhCXARIsAIkiuOxXO09dzL14iZC4AtTL7-Y-2qfmETFanJuSXDMvmEfx4jH0K2BW2gcaAs2SEALw_wcB

• https://www.verywellmind.com/the-link-between-hormones-and-mental-health-7500077

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9715398/

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10512020/

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7821816/

• https://www.researchgate.net/publication/354168847_The_effects_of_lemon_balm_Melissa_officinalis_L_on_depression_and_anxiety_in_clinical_trials_A_systematic_review_and_meta-analysis

• https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/pharmacology/articles/10.3389/fphar.2023.1250560/full