By Hilary Metcalfe & Anna Cave-Bigley
Why this conversation stuck with us
We’ve both seen the videos.
On one side: women in soft-focus kitchens, hair in curls, bread rising on the counter. They talk about the joy of surrendering to a man’s lead, embracing domestic bliss, rejecting modern hustle. It’s the “trad wife” archetype, serenity through service, order through homemaking, family above all.
On the other: the “superwoman” myth. She’s running a start-up while doing school drop-off, squeezing in a workout, making partner meetings, somehow still getting dinner on the table. She’s the poster child for “having it all.”
They look like opposites. One slow, one fast. One soft, one sharp.
But when we peel back the Instagram aesthetics, something essential is missing in both: the real body beneath the role.
Because whatever story you perform, your hormones don’t care. They don’t play along with scripts. They’re the truth-tellers, whispering (or sometimes screaming) when something’s out of balance.
Our Venn Diagram: Living in the middle
If you drew a Venn diagram, one circle would be cultural scripts, trad wife on one side, superwoman on the other.
The second circle would be body wisdom: what our cycles, nervous systems, and hormones need to thrive.
That messy overlap in the middle? That’s where most women actually live.
That’s us.
We’re both mums to toddlers. Both building a global business together. Both wives. Both living abroad, far from the family safety nets we grew up with.
Our daily reality is a swirl of ambition and exhaustion: leading investor calls with a baby on the hip, washing bottles at midnight, taking preschool runs between board meetings. It’s moments of fierce joy, but also bone-deep depletion.
And what none of the archetypes capture is this simple truth: women are carrying more than their bodies were designed to carry alone.
Anna’s Story: Motherhood Meets Entrepreneurship
When my son was born, I thought I’d take maternity leave, catch my breath, and then ease back into work. But that fantasy dissolved quickly. Instead,I found myself drafting investor updates with one hand while nursing, all while silently carrying the weight of unacknowledged postpartum depression, clicking “join call” with spit-up on my shoulder, whispering to my baby during board meetings because my husband was away and there was no one else to help.
I wanted to embody both archetypes: the nurturing mother who bakes banana bread and reads stories on the floor, and the high-performing CEO who secures funding rounds, builds a team, and scales a brand.
I ignored the signs at first. The hormonal chaos, shortened cycles, breakouts that reminded me of my teenage years, cortisol spikes at 3 a.m. that jolted me awake even when my son miraculously slept. My nervous system felt like it was running on a broken metronome.
It wasn’t just exhaustion; it was an identity split that felt like it might tear me apart. I had built a company that stood for honouring women’s bodies, yet I was bulldozing my own.
That was my wake-up call. Now, I’ve learned to anchor myself in rituals that act like oxygen masks. A mid-afternoon pause with tea, often our Digestive Herbata when my stomach churns from eating lunch in three bites, is more than hydration.
It doesn’t fix everything. My inbox doesn’t shrink. But it creates a crack of space where my body and mind can breathe. And in that crack, I find myself again.
Hilary’s Story: The Postpartum Reckoning
My rupture came in the rawest season of all: postpartum.
I thought I’d prepared. I’d studied nutrition. I knew the herbs. I’d seen enough clients to understand the importance of supporting hormones. But knowledge doesn’t tuck a baby back to sleep at 2 a.m. Knowledge doesn’t dissolve the tidal wave of postpartum rage that left me staring at the wall, wondering where the “me” I used to know had gone.
The days blurred: a baby on my breast, Slack notifications pinging, my husband asking me questions while I silently screamed inside. I didn’t recognise the woman in the mirror, hollow-eyed, hair falling out in clumps, skin dull. I wasn’t thriving. I was surviving.
And survival alone felt like failure.
But slowly, piece by piece, I built bridges back to myself.
A cup of Calming Herbata or Mama Recover after bedtime became a ritual of reclamation. It wasn’t just chamomile and lemon balm. It was the sound of my own exhale, the shift from being everyone’s anchor to letting myself float for a moment.
Even skincare transformed from routine to ritual. When I apply our Active Nutrient Serum, I slow down, not to “fix” my skin but to remember that I exist beyond function. That my reflection holds more than tiredness.
The common thread: Women carry too much
Trad wife. Superwoman. Homemaker. CEO. It doesn’t matter the label, the truth is the same:
Women are carrying households, children, careers, partners, communities.
And the science shows the toll:
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Women perform 60% more unpaid domestic labour than men globally (UN Women).
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Mothers are almost twice as likely to experience anxiety and depression compared to fathers (Health Sci Rep, 2024).
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Hormonal shifts in postpartum, PMS, and perimenopause make women more vulnerable to stress-related disorders, yet healthcare systems dismiss these symptoms as “just mood.”
What we don’t need are more polished archetypes on Instagram.
What we do need? Systems that support women’s bodies and caregiving roles.
Paid parental leave. Affordable childcare. Workplaces that understand cycles. Medical care that listens.
Until those systems exist, the question becomes: how do we stop collapsing under the load right now?
What needs to shift?
If there’s one thing both the “trad wife” and “superwoman” scripts ignore, it’s that women are not machines. We’re cyclical, hormonal, emotional, physical beings, and our bodies are constantly giving us feedback. Yet society trains us to override those signals in favour of performance.
So, what actually needs to shift? Two things at once: systems around us and habits within us.
We can’t singlehandedly rewrite workplace policy or invent universal childcare overnight (though we’ll keep fighting for it). But we can begin by building micro-systems of support inside our daily lives, acts of defiance that say: my health matters.
Here’s where to begin:
1. Reframe rituals as survival
We’ve been sold the idea of “self-care” as candles, face masks, or indulgence. But rituals are actually survival tools. They don’t have to be grand, in fact, the smaller and more consistent, the better.
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Micro-pause rituals: One intentional breath before opening your inbox. A hot cup of tea you finish while it’s still warm. Putting your phone down while you wash your face at night.
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Cycle-syncing rituals: Track your cycle and match your energy: lighter workouts in the luteal phase, more social activity in follicular. Support your body instead of resenting its shifts.
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Anchoring rituals: Bookend your day with something yours, skincare (all natural, nourishing and prebiotic) in the morning before everyone else wakes, a calming adaptogenic tea at night that signals to your nervous system: you can soften now.
These aren’t extras. They’re anchors in the storm.
2. Practice Boundaries as Hormone Protection
Stress isn’t just emotional, it’s biochemical. High cortisol suppresses ovulation, disrupts thyroid function, worsens sleep, and fuels anxiety. Which means boundaries aren’t just for your calendar, they’re medicine.
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Say “no” sooner: Don’t wait until resentment builds. Practice declining the coffee meeting, the extra project, the playdate, before your body pays the price.
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Redefine productivity: Instead of asking, “Did I do enough?” ask, “Did I do what mattered most today?” The rest can wait.
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Energy audits: Keep a weekly list of what drains you and what nourishes you. Do less of the first, more of the second, even by 10%. That’s boundary work in practice.
3. Build Support Before the Breaking Point
Many of us wait until we’re burned out to reach for help. What if asking for support was part of the plan, not the emergency exit?
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Domestic support: Share the load where you can. Hire part-time help if accessible. If not, swap childcare hours with another parent or create meal-trade circles with friends.
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Community support: Create or join WhatsApp groups for honest check-ins. “Who else is struggling this week?” is a lifeline.
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Professional support: Therapy, coaching, or even group programs can create a mirror when you’re too deep in the fog to see yourself clearly.
Support isn’t a weakness. It’s how human societies were designed to function — communal, shared, collective. Modern isolation is the aberration.
4. Listen Before the Body Screams
Your body always whispers before it shouts. But in a world that celebrates pushing through, we often ignore the early signals.
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Track subtle shifts: Is your skin breaking out? Are your cycles irregular? Do you feel bloated after rushing meals? Write it down, those patterns matter.
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Resist the “fine” script: If you’re irritable, depleted, or exhausted, don’t dismiss it as “just life.” Ask: what system in my body needs attention?
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Intervene gently: Herbs, hydration, five minutes of sun, a nap, small inputs can change hormonal cascades if caught early.
Honouring yourself doesn’t mean opting out of life, ambition, or family. It means choosing daily practices that align your body with your reality.
We can’t wait for cultural shifts to save us. We are the cultural shift when we start showing up differently, clearer, healthier, less apologetic for needing rest, space, or support.
A stronger truth
So, who’s right, the trad wife or the superwoman?
Neither. And both. Because neither role is the point.
The point is this: families, companies, and communities thrive when women are supported, not stretched to breaking point. And our hormones, our cycles, our bodies will always tell the truth before culture catches up.
We didn’t start The SABI to add another lifestyle to chase. We started it because, as women and as mothers, we lived the cracks in the system ourselves. We know what it feels like to disappear inside roles, and what it takes to claw back even a fragment of yourself.
Our teas, our skincare, our community, they’re not the solution to everything. But they are reminders. Small, tangible ways to honour your body in a world that constantly asks you to override it.
So maybe the question isn’t which role are you playing?
Maybe the better question is: What would it look like if you stopped performing and started honouring yourself, today?
HORMONAL & PROUD
Created as a brand to help women navigate the toughest moments in pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum — and practically every stage of life, the SABI aims to change the narrative around our hormones from one of taboo, embarrassment and loneliness, to awareness and even pride. Much more than a wellness brand, SABI offers a carefully crafted line of products to carry you through your hormonal journey; a set of rituals, supportive tools, and ancient herbal remedies that have been tested time and again by women and now, backed by medicine. SABI is a blend of science and nature conceived by women who have experienced the joys and deep implications of bringing a child into the world, the pains of a heavy and difficult period, miscarriage and difficulty conceiving
Here is an invitation to get to know your body and its cycles better and to really understand what is going on inside. Learn to use your hormonal cycle to your advantage no matter your stage of life, and know that you can always support and balance your hormone levels. Look for the right sources of information, know that there is help, and know that you’re supported.
DISCLAIMER
The SABI blog and articles are not meant to instruct or advise on medical or health conditions, but to inform. The information and opinions presented here do not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals for your unique situation.
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