Why Safety is the Only Metric Your Fertility is Watching

BY: Hilary, Co-Founder of The SABI

At 36, I was sitting in a doctor’s office with a frozen shoulder, a physical manifestation of a body locked in fight-or-flight, being told that my ovarian reserve was "menopausal."

I was burnt out. I was navigating the wreckage of a divorce. My cortisol was sky-high, my inflammation was systemic, and my nervous system was fried. The clinical diagnosis was “close to infertile" and I was told I would not conceive without multiple rounds of IVF.

But looking back now, with two healthy babies born naturally at 40 and 42, I realise the diagnosis wasn't right. My body wasn’t broken. It was brilliant.

It was looking at my life, the stress, the lack of sleep, the emotional turmoil, and it was making a very wise biological decision: This environment is not safe for a baby.

In the conversation around conception, we obsess over the mechanics. Did I ovulate? Is the egg quality good? But we rarely ask the question that matters most to our physiology: Does my body feel safe enough to do this?

In this blog, we will look at fertility through a functional lens, not about ovulation tracking or timing. Instead, we dive into the four pillars of safety, why they may matter more than your egg count, and the specific shifts you can make to signal to your body that it is safe to conceive.

The Biology of Safety

Fertility is not an essential function for your survival. If you are running from a tiger, or running a startup on 4 hours of sleep while navigating a breakup, your body will prioritise your heart, your lungs, and your muscles. It will divert resources away from your reproductive system because, evolutionarily speaking, bringing a baby into a famine or a war zone is a bad investment.

This isn't just a metaphor. It is the HPA-HPG Axis connection.

Your HPA Axis (Hypothalamus-Pituitary-Adrenal) controls your stress response. Your HPG Axis (Hypothalamus-Pituitary-Gonadal) controls your reproduction. When the HPA axis is hyper-activated by chronic stress, it releases cortisol. High cortisol can suppress the release of GnRH (Gonadotropin-releasing hormone), effectively telling your ovaries to go offline [1].

So, before we start "trying," we have to stop surviving. We have to signal safety.

Here are the four pillars of safety I wish I had known to look for before I started my journey.

1. The Chemical Safety (Clearing the Signal)

Our hormones operate like a delicate wifi signal. Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals (EDCs), found in conventional skincare, plastics, and fragrances, act like static noise. They mimic estrogen in the body, confusing the hormonal feedback loops necessary for ovulation and implantation [2].

When I was in my "unexplained infertility" era, I was slathering my face in "luxury" creams and spraying perfumes on my delicate, thin, neck and chest skin that were loaded with phthalates and parabens being absorbed into my bloodstream. 

The Shift: I couldn't control the pollution outside, but I could control what I put on my skin. This is why The SABI skincare line is non-negotiable for me. It isn't just about looking good; it is about biological respect. By switching to all-natural, EDC-free products, you remove the chemical noise, allowing your body’s own hormonal signal to come through clearly.

2. The Nervous System Safety (The Cortisol Steal)

You cannot supplement your way out of a nervous system that thinks it is under attack.

Biochemically, your body uses the same raw material, pregnenolone, to make both Cortisol (stress hormone) and Progesterone (the pro-gestational hormone needed to hold a pregnancy). When you are chronically stressed, the body prioritises the release of cortisol. This is often referred to as the "Pregnenolone Steal."

If you are running on caffeine and adrenaline, your body is effectively stealing the building blocks of your fertility to fuel your stress.

The Shift: I had to learn to down-regulate. Not "relax" (which is passive), but actively switch my nervous system from sympathetic (fight/flight) to parasympathetic (rest/digest).

• The Ritual: This is where The Calm Blend became a vital tool for me. It uses Chamomile and Lemon Balm to physically lower the volume on the nervous system, signalling to the body that the "tiger" is gone.

3. The Cycle Safety (The Vital Sign)

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (ACOG) calls the menstrual cycle a "vital sign," just like your pulse or blood pressure [3].

If your period is painful, heavy, nonexistent, or wildly irregular, your body is shouting that something is off. Pain is inflammation. Irregularity is often a blood sugar or thyroid issue.

The Shift: Instead of forcing a pregnancy into a chaotic cycle, I spent months focusing purely on cycle health.

• The Ritual: Using tools like Gentle Period can help support the body in metabolising excess hormones and reducing inflammatory prostaglandins. We treat the cycle not as a nuisance, but as the monthly report card of our readiness.

4. The Emotional Safety (The Footprint of Trauma)

This is the hardest one to measure, but the most important. Emotional trauma, whether it's a past divorce, a high-pressure career, or childhood wounds, leaves a biological footprint.

Studies show that women with high levels of alpha-amylase (a biomarker for stress) have a significantly longer time-to-pregnancy and higher rates of infertility [4].

When I was 36, my body was keeping the score. It knew I wasn't ready to hold someone else because I wasn't holding myself yet.

The Shift: I had to build a life that felt safe. That meant boundaries. It meant saying no. It meant sleep. It meant finding a partner who made my nervous system settle, not spike.

"Ready" looks different than you think.

"Ready" isn't just a positive ovulation strip.
"Ready" is sleeping through the night.
"Ready" is a digestive system that absorbs nutrients.
"Ready" is a cycle that arrives without bringing you to your knees.
"Ready" is the confidence that your body is a safe house.

If you are on this journey, please know one thing. You have time. Taking 3 to 6 months to stop "trying" and start "nourishing" is not lost time. It might be the most productive thing you can do.

Your body is not an obstacle to be overcome. It is the vessel. 

Treat it with safety, and it will often surprise you with what it can do.

All my best, 

Hilary

References

1.  Stress & The HPA/HPG Axis: Kalantaridou, S. N., Makrigiannakis, A., Zoumakis, E., & Chrousos, G. P. (2004). Stress and the female reproductive system. Journal of Reproductive Immunology, 62(1-2), 61–68. Summary: Chronic stress activates the HPA axis, which inhibits the secretion of GnRH, LH, and FSH, directly impacting ovulation and implantation.

2. EDCs & Fertility: Sifakis, S., Androutsopoulos, V. P., Tsatsakis, A. M., & Spandidos, D. A. (2017). Human exposure to endocrine disrupting chemicals: effects on the male and female reproductive systems. Environmental Toxicology and Pharmacology, 51, 56–70. Summary: Exposure to EDCs (phthalates, parabens) is linked to reduced oocyte quality and hormonal disruption.

3. The Cycle as a Vital Sign: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2015). Committee Opinion No. 651: Menstruation in girls and adolescents: using the menstrual cycle as a vital sign. Obstetrics & Gynecology, 126(6), e143-e146.

4. Stress Biomarkers & Time-to-Pregnancy: Lynch, C. D., Sundaram, R., Maisog, J. M., Sweeney, A. M., & Buck Louis, G. M. (2014). Preconception stress increases the risk of infertility: results from a couple-based prospective cohort study—the LIFE study. Human Reproduction, 29(5), 1067–1075. Summary: Women with the highest levels of salivary alpha-amylase had a 29% reduced probability of pregnancy compared to those with low levels.

HORMONAL & PROUD

Created as a brand to help women navigate the toughest moments in pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum — and practically every stage of life, the SABI aims to change the narrative around our hormones from one of taboo, embarrassment and loneliness, to awareness and even pride. Much more than a wellness brand, SABI offers a carefully crafted line of products to carry you through your hormonal journey; a set of rituals, supportive tools, and ancient herbal remedies that have been tested time and again by women and now, backed by medicine. SABI is a blend of science and nature conceived by women who have experienced the joys and deep implications of bringing a child into the world, the pains of a heavy and difficult period, miscarriage and difficulty conceiving

Here is an invitation to get to know your body and its cycles better and to really understand what is going on inside. Learn to use your hormonal cycle to your advantage no matter your stage of life, and know that you can always support and balance your hormone levels. Look for the right sources of information, know that there is help, and know that you’re supported.

DISCLAIMER

The SABI blog and articles are not meant to instruct or advise on medical or health conditions, but to inform. The information and opinions presented here do not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals for your unique situation.