By Anna Cave-Bigley
There’s this moment, somewhere in the postpartum blur, when you realise it’s not just your body that’s changed, you have too.
It’s not necessarily dramatic or visible. It might be a quiet grief for the woman you once were. A feeling of not quite recognising your reflection. The push-pull of being needed constantly by those you love more than anything in the world AND still missing yourself and time for you.
After three children, being a month postpartum as I write this, I’ve come to understand this as part of the process (every time): I am not losing who I am, I am becoming someone new. Someone softer, stronger, and more resilient. This blog isn’t a list of quick fixes. It’s a collection of the small things that helped me return to myself, that new version of me.
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Mummy wardrobe revamp
Postpartum and motherhood doesn’t ask for skinny jeans and structured tops, it asks for grace, for softness, for clothes that move with your body and reflect who you’re becoming. Clothes that can take you from the nursery floor, to the doctor’s clinic, to a Zoom meeting with an investor without needing an outfit change (or a second thought).
I cleared out pieces that no longer served me. The ones that pinched or reminded me of someone I wasn’t anymore. I invited a friend over and finally let go of that top I’ve kept for years even though I never wore it.
I donated, sold, and made space. And I brought in new pieces that made me feel supported, put together, and comfortable, often borrowed through & Mother Store, where we also stock some of our pieces.
This isn’t about “getting your body back” but about dressing the one you’re in (right now) -and with the new very flexible needs of motherhood- with care.
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The Ritual That Grounds Me: Mama Recover
Postpartum hormones are no joke. And after experiencing postpartum depression in the past, I now take every opportunity to support my system before it crashes.
That’s why Mama Recover has become a non-negotiable for me. It’s adaptogenic (helps the body adapt to physical, emotional, and environmental stress), iron-rich, deeply calming, and supportive of my emotional baseline. Paired with the Calming Herbata, which helps regulate cortisol and soothe the nerves (you can imagine these run quite high with 3 beautiful and very noisy intense boys), these small, daily rituals put at bay my hormonal dips, supports my recovery and calms my nervous system.
They’re first-year essentials.
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Coffee, Alone or With a Friend
From week three, I plan one weekly moment just for me. Sometimes it’s a quick coffee with a friend, other times it’s 20 minutes with a book on a bench near home.
It doesn’t matter where I go or how long I’m gone, what matters is that I get to feel like a woman again, not just a mother. I get to be in my own head, in my own rhythm, even briefly.
Its a reset.
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Movement, for My Body and My Mind
I try to do one thing every week that makes me feel strong, fluid, and in my body. Sometimes it’s a gentle yoga class or a postpartum pilates session, sometimes with a kid climbing on top of me. When that’s too much, I walk, baby in the pram, audiobook in my ears.
My favourite London studios? Psycle and Tempo, My favourite online class for at-home movement? The Louisa Drake Method.
And if you can only make it out every two weeks, or you just stretch while the baby’s on the mat, it still counts. Something is something.
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Hair Loss Is Hard
Postpartum hair loss caught me off guard. Again. And again. It’s more than just aesthetic, it’s part of how we see ourselves, and when it starts falling out, it can feel like yet another loss of control.
I’ve switched to natural haircare to reduce scalp stress and hormonal disruption:
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My favourite shampoo: Faith in Nature Organic Coconut Shampoo
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Scalp stimulator: The Massager by UKLASH for manual and The Ergonomist Scalp Massager if you prefer electrical
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I’ve also tried cell-based treatments for existing hair support which I love
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And I am currently testing a new formula for a new solution for hair regrowth…I am so excited about this one! And to share it with you.
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A Diary to Anchor the Day
Call it old-school, but a paper diary changed everything. Between sleepless nights and constant multitasking, my brain can feel like a browser with 27 tabs open.
Writing things down, whether it’s appointments, feeding schedules, or just thoughts, helps reduce the mental load. I can’t control the chaos, but I can at least see it all in one place.
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Rebuilding the Partnership
With my first, I felt an emotional distance from my partner that scared me. We were both in it, but we weren’t always in it together.
Now, I’m intentional about making space for connection, not necessarily date nights, but eye contact. Conversation. Sharing the mental load. Remembering that we’re not just co-parents: we’re still partners, even if the flirtation is currently swapped for nappy duty and health anxieties.
It’s not the same dynamic. But it can be a stronger, more compassionate one if you let it shift.
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Tune In to What You Need
Here’s the truth: there’s no universal way to do this. Everyone will have an opinion. But only you know what works for your sanity.
As a self diagnosed workaholic I need a little work stimulation. Even an hour a day. To tune back in, to move a project line along. Something to feel a little more me and to feel a little more in control during postpartum where I tend to feel completely out of control (and I am….).
My main message here? You do you.
Do what makes you feel better. No guilt. If it means taking a few months, a year or several off, or transitioning into a stay at home mum - do it! Embrace it fully and lean in to where it feels right. If it means a few weeks of mat leave whilst staying in touch, also do it. There is no method here for what works. What works for you, is not what works for your best friend.
You’re Not Going Back
You don’t need to bounce back. You’re not who you were, and that’s not a loss. It’s growth.
Be gentle with the new version of you. Honour her. Support her. Let her evolve slowly, imperfectly, and fully, you are only getting to know her.
She’s not trying to be who she was before.
She’s learning to love who she is now.
ABOUT ANNA
Anna is a Co-founder of The SABI and has spent the past 13 years working in or for governments, senior businessmen and politicians around the world. Living in Bogota, Colombia, she recently renovated one of Colombia’s oldest and most iconic coffee estates, developing a unique taste and travel experience. She lives with her husband and three boys Lorenzo, Alfie and baby Salvador who are responsible for the beautiful journey that inspired her to pursue The Sabi.
HORMONAL & PROUD
Created as a brand to help women navigate the toughest moments in pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum — and practically every stage of life, the SABI aims to change the narrative around our hormones from one of taboo, embarrassment and loneliness, to awareness and even pride. Much more than a wellness brand, SABI offers a carefully crafted line of products to carry you through your hormonal journey; a set of rituals, supportive tools, and ancient herbal remedies that have been tested time and again by women and now, backed by medicine. SABI is a blend of science and nature conceived by women who have experienced the joys and deep implications of bringing a child into the world, the pains of a heavy and difficult period, miscarriage and difficulty conceiving
Here is an invitation to get to know your body and its cycles better and to really understand what is going on inside. Learn to use your hormonal cycle to your advantage no matter your stage of life, and know that you can always support and balance your hormone levels. Look for the right sources of information, know that there is help, and know that you’re supported.
DISCLAIMER
The SABI blog and articles are not meant to instruct or advise on medical or health conditions, but to inform. The information and opinions presented here do not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals for your unique situation.
